archives: love, lina & lara
Updated: Dec 6, 2020
If you've been here since I created the blog Love, Lina & Lara with my roommate/coworker/best friend from our time spent living, working, and playing together in the Galapagos Islands, then you're THE REAL mvp. Our time spent together on that island during a little magical blip in time shaped me in ways that I'm still wrapping together. Since we've moved past that little blip in time into totally new phases of our lives, our blog has ceased to be anything but a memory bank for us. Both of us realizing that it's probably not worth paying for the domain anymore, but still wanting to keep that cherished time capsule in the existence of the interwebs for our own loving. So, to give honor to the past and to look with love into the future, I've decided to create a series called the #archives here on Lina Learning. I've experienced and written some pretty cool things in my life, and I feel like the archives can give you a good look into parts of my story that may be important to understanding how I got to where I am today. Most of my writings you can find on instagram, but you'd have to scroll, so in this space here with #archives I'll share some of my favorite poems and works that I have written through the years.
My first post on love-lina-lara.com dated May 16, 2019 goes like this:
Hi, I'm Lina
I’m living on this magical island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean because I came here as an international student in my last semester of college with not even a clue of what I was going to do after graduation. I didn’t have any stress or anxiety about my lack of planning until about 2 days before I was set to leave the island and go back to the States. Suddenly, reality slapped me in the face while I was having coffee with my friends who were all talking about the lives they were going to resume and said “UM HELLO!!!! What do YOU have to go back to? You’ve been living in a fantasy world and your reality world is about to really hit you when you get back to the US!” I tried not to panic with this realization because the whole purpose of me studying abroad for my last semester without making plans for post-graduation was so that I could be open to any opportunities that came my way while I was here. That morning was the first time a twinge of “oh shit, what the hell am I gonna do with my life?” had hit me all semester. But it was the end of an incredible study abroad experience, so I decided that I’d enjoy my last days and deal with that stress when I got back to “reality.” Then, this crazy thing happened…. I got offered a job that very same day to teach English at the university I was currently a student at. All signs pointed that the only answer was a big fat YES. And just like that, the girl with no plans got shown the way. Ever since I set foot on this island back in September 2018 the people I’ve met, the experiences I lived, the energy I’ve felt, the love I’ve let in… it’s been life altering. I’ve found myself in a very aware and present state of loving, learning and growing exponentially. I wanted to start this blog because I love to share raw, real parts of myself and of my life. I’ve been using Instagram as a place to share my writing, but I feel with a blog I will be able to dive deeper into the stories and deeper into this wonder journey I’m on with this time in the Galapagos. I’m surrounded by people that support and encourage me, I have time to let my creative energetic self explore, and I am confident enough to be vulnerable… so as far as I’m concerned, there’s no reason to not start a blog. I know that words can hold a lot of power and I feel it’s time I start harnessing that power even more than I do now. I’m so excited to continue to share my human experience, share the light in the this world, and share the love that I am and that we are. I’m already a witness to so much magic, so I can’t wait to see what will manifest in this space that Lara and I create. Love, Lina
Post #2, written with the help of my dear sister/friend/soulmate Lara. Gives you a little peek into our island lives ;) Lara is a fantastic writer as well, if you wanna check out her out on instagram, I'd say it would be a wise thing to do!
Love, Lina & Lara
So, hello! Welcome to our blog! We live together, we work together, we explore together, we eat together, we poop together, but we’re not “together together.” We’re currently living on San Cristobal Island in the Galapagos where we snorkel almost daily with sea turtles, surf, dive, paint, draw, write, eat a lot of plantains, and step over sea lions on our way to work. If you read our individual introductions, you’ll quickly figure out that we both came to this island with little to no idea what to expect, but each of us had a deep feeling of trust that it was the right choice to make. The first time we ever met, we ended up having a three-hour conversation in which we discovered we were riding the same wavelength about pretty much everything. We often marvel that out of anyone else that could have taken the job that brought us together, we ended up with each other. We just so happen to both be from the same country (and the Midwest), close to the same age, and chill as fuck. It’s been nothing short of a gift to learn from each others’ experiences, openness, and unique lenses through which we see life. We decided on the name Love, Lina & Lara since we will be writing letters to anyone out there who wants to give them a read. We’re also going to use this space to share our poetry and photographs, as we both enjoy creative writing and capturing beautiful moments in time. This blog is the result of hundreds of hours of sharing our lives, supporting each other through personal growth, pushing ourselves to raise our vibrations and show up with our best selves forward, and having occasional rant sessions (seriously y’all, wtf is happening in the U.S.??). We’re doing this for us because we both want a space to share our souls. We’re doing this for friends and family because everyone is always wondering what we’re doing out here in the middle of the Pacific. And we’re doing this for anyone else that might be wandering the webs looking for a little truth, inspiration, and proof that life really can be everything you want it to be. Welcome again, we hope you enjoy this as much as we will. Love, Lina & Lara
Post #3 dated May 26, 2019:
Relief in Grief
As much as I’d love for this blog to be full of only happy things, one of my goals when it comes to sharing things on the internet is to be as vulnerable and real as possible. I’m choosing to not sugar coat anything and show life unfiltered because this world needs more openness and I’ve found that we come to together in pain just as much if not more than we come together in joy. Life is beautiful and joyous in so many ways but we all know there is suffering too. My grandfather died this past week. It’s painful to be so far away from home in times like this. Having to say my last words to him over the phone, facetiming my family feeling so helpless, and the guilt that I had for not being there left me nothing but exhausted from all the tears. My heart breaks for my mother and I wish so much that I could hug her in this time of grief. I haven’t lived in the same city as my family since 2015. Since then, the only time I ever really got to see my grandparents was the few times I visited home during holiday breaks. Whenever I would see my grandpa for the first time after a while, the first thing he would say was “Hey! There’s the world traveler!” I’m pretty sure he started saying this before I had even traveled out of the country. He and Grandma would listen to anything I was willing to share with them, always beaming with awe, making me feel like I really was a world traveler with stories worth sharing. It’s a bit strange to feel relief with death. But I must admit that even though I mourn the death of my grandpa, I can’t help but feel a sense of completeness knowing that his soul is exactly where it needs to be. My grandmother, the love of his life, his true and honest twin flame passed away not even a year ago. He has been waiting to return to her ever since. They will always be my vision of what love should look and feel like. A bondage between two souls that holds space and love for the other without expectations or conditions. I will forever admire their example of unity and feel so insanely blessed to have witnessed what they shared. They always had this sense of calmness about them. Like they always knew that the whole world could burn down around them, and they would be left standing together. A rooted confidence that their love will last in the most literal sense of forever. And because of this, I have no doubt their souls are together. I’m not sure where they are - maybe in everything. Because today the wind feels a little cooler, the ocean looks a little bigger, the sky a little bluer, and the two yellow warblers singing sound a little sweeter. Maybe their souls have even merged into one. Maybe their meeting again created a star somewhere far off in the universe whose light will shine just bright enough to peek through the sky tonight. Maybe they’ve reunited in a dance so powerful that they’re the reason the universe keeps expanding. I didn’t get to spend much time with them because of living far away but now it feels as if there is no distance that separates us. I see them in the two sea turtles swimming underneath my surf board. I see them in the eyes of the nine sea lion pups that played with me while scuba diving yesterday. I see them in the blooming flowers, the dragonflies floating by, and the bioluminescence I swam with last night. Oddly enough, I feel closer to them now than ever before. I feel like my eyes are seeing everything with more light. Something feels a little more complete and a lot more at peace. Everything feels settled. Life and death somehow make sense. I can’t help but feel that their souls are at peace together, making beauty and shining the light of love through every one of us they left behind. I read in a book called “The Book of Joy” that once you change your perspective and stop making someone else’s death about you, you’ll realize what a privilege it is to feel grief. What a blessing it is to feel the emptiness of the room now that they’re not in it. How beautiful it was to feel a love so deep. I see what a privilege it is to have grandparents that loved me and my family unconditionally. What a privilege it is to have been able to spend time with them throughout my life. What a privilege it is to see their love intertwined within all the beauty around me. I’ll still mourn the death of my grandfather, but I’ll look at this grief as a sign that I am so incredibly blessed to know a love like this. And for that, I am so incredibly grateful. May you relish in Eternal Love Grandpa (5/22/19) & Grandma Pavloff (6/17/18). Love, Lina P.S. – I have to give thanks to Lara and my boyfriend Juan Carlos. Lara for hugging me and bringing me pizza when I was too weak to leave my bed. And Juan for not saying a word and just holding me tightly in his lap while I cried. I’m so dang grateful for them.
Post #4 shared June 5, 2019 about the tattoo I have on my upper left arm:
The Garden On My Skin
When people ask me about the meaning of this tattoo, I usually just say that I’m creating a garden of flowers from places that have impacted me and name off each flower while pointing it out on my skin. That’s a short, sweet answer and usually satisfies anyone who asks. But, to me, it is so much more than that. The Colorado Columbine – the state flower of Colorado, the first place that completely torched my love for life and travel burning with passion. My Aunt Diane took me on a trip there the summer that I needed it more than ever (when a 17-year-old gets broken up with from her first love you best believe that mountains will fill the void while she’s trying to find herself). A flower I was in total awe with while hiking through the Rockies for the first time, literally not knowing that something so beautiful was existing the same time I was. This one represents the start of it all, the beginning of me finding what makes my heart sing, the beginning of my realization that this life can be anything I want it to be, the beginning of a journey that I know will never end. Prickly Pear flower – from the deserts of the western States, it can be found in Utah, Arizona, New Mexico and so on. The desert has brought out some deep and dark emotions from me through the form of pure exhaustion. It has swallowed me whole then spit me back out gasping for air and wondering who I am beneath this skin. But I also fell in love with the red rocks that live out there and the cacti that cover the grounds. The landscape is shaped by wind and water in a way that I have never seen anywhere else in the world. This flower reminds me that even in a place where it seems like nothing should live – life can thrive. They create color and beauty in a place that can be so harsh, just as I wish to do in a world that can sometimes feel the same. Forget-Me-Nots – these little babies caught my eyes in Montana. They cover the valley floors between the walls of granite that tower overhead. The first time I walked the trails in Glacier National Park I remember stopping every few steps trying to capture photos of these beauties with the cloud cutting mountains as the back drop. I call Montana one of my favorite places in the world. I’ve experienced so much magic there - from intense synchronicities to tender love to the most child-like awe for the beauty that exists on this planet. It holds such a special place in my heart, a place I can see myself returning to over and over and over again. Indian Paintbrush – I also first discovered them in Montana but have found them all over the North American West. I recently learned that they grow from Alaska to Patagonia! I was surprised to see them in Ecuador while hiking in the Andes and it felt like just the perfect sign that I’m where I need to be. I love these wildflowers for their simplicity. They’re not too showy or bright, but quite literally look like they were lightly dipped in paint. A paint I imagine must have come straight from the heavens. I’ve seen them dripped in yellow, red, orange, and pink. I love that these can be found all over, they seem to not care about the boundaries humans decide to enclose themselves in. They are wild and free. Exactly how I always want to be. Lavender – The fields of lavender in Washington made me fall in love. The smell, the color, the way it grows in these beautiful bushes and covers the land so gracefully. The time I spent in Washington was the first time I caught a glimpse of what it feels like to be present. Utterly present and alive wandering through lavender fields, rainforest, and rocky shorelines. I had dried lavender hanging from my rear-view mirror of my car for over a year, until it finally disintegrated from the sun. It is simple, soothing, healing. For some reason I feel this deep connection with lavender, maybe it’s because I associate its scent with love. Pure, sweet, love. Aspen leaves – inspired by Pando in Utah, an aspen forest that is technically one genetically identical organism. A forest grown from one source, one mother tree. Intensely connected. Proof that it just takes one. It can take just one tree to make an entire forest or one person to make a change. Proof that everything is connected somehow or another. Our lives are so intricately intertwined with each other’s and with all life and matter on this planet and in this universe. And that, to me, is a reason for trying to live mine the best way I know how. This tattoo is parts of my soul written out on my sleeve. Each flower not only representing places and experiences that have profoundly touched me, but the idea of flowers representing the little things. A constant reminder that if I choose to see the beauty, if I choose to slow down and admire the tiniest of things, my wonder and awe for this world will continue to grow and absolutely, without a doubt, never stop. I have a garden on my skin made from inked impressions of the flowers representing the lessons that have shaped my soul. My only wish is that my spirit continues to be touched by everything this life has to offer so that we, my garden and I, may continue to grow. Always with love, Lina
Post #5 shared on July 24, 2019. Hello, raw vulnerability!!!!
Since We're Being Honest
I’m here on this platform to push the boundaries of my comfort zone, to share unfiltered stories and lessons, and to do what a lot of people won’t do and be honest. So, since we’re being honest, here’s the deal... I’ve been struggling lately. It’s strange for me to admit this because I could just as easily sit here and type out all the reasons why life is beautiful and how I’m so grateful to be alive. The last couple months have been a time filled with guilt, self-pity, anxiety, fear, insecurity, and confusion for me. I’ve been my hardest critic, looking at myself as a burden. I’ve been forcing myself to think positively and I’ve been hiding from feeling all the emotions that have come up for me over this time. I sometimes feel like I’m not allowed to feel this way because so many other people have it so, so much worse than I do. I beat myself up over admitting that I have these thoughts and constantly dismiss them because seriously, look at my Instagram, what the hell could I possibly be struggling with? I’ve narrowed it down to the fact that I was stressed, started new classes after a month off work, hard enough transition as it was the kids class WORE. ME. OUT. physically, emotionally, and mentally, and my grandfather died that same week. I was emotionally distraught in a few ways. Add on my good-vibes-only-addicted ego and there you have it: I struggle to properly deal with the uneasy parts of life such as death and stress. I feel like I’ve been in a funk or a fog. I was feeling drained of energy, my soul not connected to my body, thinking negatively about myself, about what I’m doing with my life, about my abilities. I was being so hard on myself for not feeling my normal, positive myself. Because of this I couldn’t bring myself to write and share. I was judging myself, comparing myself to others, taking things for granted, resisting feelings I deemed negative, I was looking at this period as a “hard-time” and viewing it as a negative phase that I just had to get through in order to get back to my old self. Notice that? Old self. I’ve been trying to keep my eyes open to what insights might be showing themselves to me. Throughout all this time, I had an underlying trust that I was not just floating aimlessly, although I felt totally out of control with where I was going, I trusted this was all happening for a reason. Now I’m seeing that I was just shoving myself back into the cocoon instead of allowing for the time to let my wings dry before I could fully take off into a new self. I’m proud to say that I’ve been learning quite a lot through all this, though. Through the stress, I’m learning that stressful situations do not present themselves to me to punish me, they are actually opportunities to help me RISE to the occasion. For example, this kids English class I’ve been teaching of fifteen kids 6-12 years old. I haven’t had a stress like this before. It felt like they were testing me from every angle. I would leave the class feeling drained, feeling like I wasn’t a good teacher, feeling like I wasn’t appreciated. But then I realized that kids KNOW this. They can feel your energy. You don’t have to say anything, and they know. (I swear they smell fear?!) I started to see that I was looking at the class all wrong. I was getting down on myself and finding myself having self-doubt towards teaching and feeling negative towards the kids that were giving me a particularly hard time. But then I remembered one of the reasons why I took this job in the first place, I knew it was going to challenge me. This class in particular was given to me as a challenge. A challenge of patience, a challenge of love, a challenge of equanimity. And instead of RISING to the challenge, I was falling into a pattern of dreading every class, in turn not giving myself or the kids the proper energy to succeed. But, as soon as I changed my perspective from one of fear to one of opportunity, the class has been going significantly better. I’ve got solid disciplinary rules in place and I’m feeling much more respected and appreciated and feel like the kids are listening and learning now. And it’s funny, because this kid class also brought up another lesson for me, one that is much bigger and deeper than I realized. I’m a chronic people pleaser. I have this deep, underlying fear of people not liking me. I haven’t done much digging to figure out where the stem of this problem comes from, but this class made it come to the surface. Because I have a desperate need for people to approve and like me, I was literally having anxiety about giving my kids class a set of rules and disciplinary procedure because I wanted them to like me that bad (crazy, I know. I understand now that kids literally need this in order to learn and yes, I now know they will still love you even if you punish them, shout out to Lara for reminding me of that). Anyways, because of this, I now see that this is a learning opportunity to re-write a belief that I wrote for myself long ago. It’s another stepping stone for my growth. I’m learning that I will never be able to please everyone, it is completely out of my control whether or not someone likes me or judges me. I cannot control other people’s thoughts and actions. I’m recognizing that the ego feeds off this separateness and competition. And I have vowed to myself that I will practice releasing this fear so that more love and acceptance can flow into my life. Would I have seen this stepping stone if I had not been shown this opportunity to rise? Until a few days ago, I was spending so much time being hard on myself and deeming the time as “negative”, calling these “off-days” and “rough times” in my journal entries, feeling down about it all and thinking that the stress I was feeling was due to the fact that I was doing something wrong. Even though somewhere deep down I knew this phase wouldn’t last forever, because I’ve been through this before. And I’ve come out of it before, not even close to the old self I was. Then the other day, I had separate conversations with Juan and Lara who both had the same message to share with me: I shouldn’t be labeling this time as negative. Lara suggested to call is more like an “energy block” and Juan sees it as a “slow time”. Instead of beating myself up over feeling negative, I need to look at it as a necessary part of the journey. *cue light bulb going off over my head* You see, before all this, I was looking at life as a series of highs and lows. There are good times in life and bad times in life and we all just gotta scrape through the bad times until we get to a good time again, right? But labeling the times as good/bad or high/low makes me feel like the bad/low times aren’t necessary, or that I could be avoiding them somehow. But this is not true. They are unavoidable, an absolute necessary part of the growing process. The only way to get to where I need to go is THROUGH the slow times, THROUGH the energy blocks, not around them. These times may feel unclear and they may require me to slow down, but they are just as beautiful and just as necessary to this path of life. We don’t have to scrape through, we just have to accept life as it is and be. Each step leads to the next. THERE ARE NO MISTAKES, NO ACCIDENTS. It is all an unfolding process. Ahhhhhhhh. Here is where I take a deep breath of gratitude. The reason for every blockage and slow time I’ve ever had becomes clear. They had to happen for me to learn, in order for me to get here and now. And here and now is where all the infinite love, joy, and gratitude exist. *shivers* But let me be clear that between all this energy blockage, I’ve had undoubtedly beautiful moments. Over the last two months I’ve had friends from all over the world that I met at Cotopaxi come visit the island. I’ve shared delicious meals with them, one friend from Italy made Juan and I the best pasta I’ve ever had. I’ve had mind-expanding, soul-reviving conversations. I’ve been diving nearly every day with sea turtles, sea lions, sharks, rays, and people from Australia to Russia to France to Chile. I’ve celebrated birthdays and danced nights away. My family visited, and we had an amazing time together. I’ve had students give me beautiful, thoughtful gifts and so many thanks. I’ve gotten to feel the coldness of the changing ocean on my skin. The sun has shined every day. I’ve smiled so much my cheeks hurt, laughed so hard I cried, and loved so big I’m surprised my heart still fits in my chest. This goes to show that doesn’t matter what our life situation is, where we live or what we do, we will still feel energy blocks inside. And this is a difficult pill to swallow, because there’s this growing belief that we can solve all our problems by traveling, moving somewhere new, or quitting our job. We could be traveling the world and not learn a single thing if we still haven’t journeyed within. We could move to a new place and realize that we still have to live with ourselves. We could quit our jobs and see that we’re still equally as stressed. Yes, I think these actions can spark a change... but we must remember that true, real change comes from WITHIN. It all depends on our mindset, our outlook on life. And this, my friends, is ENTIRELY OUR CHOICE. Let me say that again: Our perspective on life is entirely our choice. We cannot control what happens to us in life, we can only control the attitude we take. And in this lies our ultimate power and freedom. I hope that empowers us. I hope we realize that it is our choice to wake up every morning and say, “I’m going to do all things with joy today” or “Today I will treat everyone I see with unconditional love.” And I hope we all watch our lives change right before our eyes. How beautiful is it to know that NO MATTER WHAT our life situation is, we can still find joy, peace, and love within? I’ve read stories of people in concentration camps and wrongly accused prisoners on death row that had better outlooks on life than most people (please, do yourself a favor and read The Book of Joy). If those people, who are arguably in some of the worst life situations, can find joy… who is to say that we can’t?! We can, always. Right where we are, with what we have. Here and Now. Joy and love are unlimitedly available to all of us in this exact present moment. If you’ve been having similar blockages like me, I’m here to share that we learn the most when we are tested by something (again, thank you, The Book of Joy for that nugget of wisdom). I’ve pondered that maybe the secret isn’t doing something drastic like quitting our jobs and traveling the world… maybe the secret is to find ways to test ourselves right where we are. Maybe we can choose to let go instead of holding on. We can do all tasks as part of the dance instead of a weight on our shoulders. We can choose to treat everyone with love today. We can choose to see stress as an opportunity that will help us grow instead of a threat to our ego. We can let go of our attachments and the outcome of situations so that we can allow ourselves to be free. We can accept that just about everything in life is totally out of our control, except the perspective that we choose to take. I’ll be the first to admit that I sometimes feel pressured to only share the highlight reel, which is really easy to do when you live in a place like I do, but we can’t forget that even the people we might think are living “perfect” lives have their slow times too. I can only hope to show that if you relate to anything I said, then I bet there is a whole bunch of others who did too, and it feels damn good to know we’re not alone. If I can share one more revelation that has come to me recently, its that we’re all the same. We all have insecurities, fears, stress, beauty, compassion, and generosity. It is through our vulnerabilities and limitations that we are brought together, reminded that we cannot do this journey alone. I’m out here growing and learning, just like you. Slowly at times, but ever so surely. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Thanks so much for reading, it really means the world to me. If you felt any of my words resonate with you, feel free to leave a comment, share this post, or shoot me a message on WhatsApp, Facebook, or Instagram. If you want to share some lessons you've been learning, how you felt reading this post, or if you just want to chat for a bit, I'm always here.
Alllllll the love, Lina
Post #6 shared on October 5, 2019. In case you need a little inspiration ;)
Learning to Trust
I’m in a very similar position now that I was in around this time last year. Last year, I was studying abroad in Galapagos for my last semester of university with not a single clue of what I was going to do after the semester ended. Then two days before I was set to go back home to the States, I got offered a teaching job on the islands. So here I am, one year later, on the same beautiful island, in a place that is starting to feel familiar - a place of unknown. My teaching contract ends in December and, once again, I have no plans for what’s next. I’m currently navigating my way through this new but familiar space. I don’t know where I’m heading. A cycle is ending, which means a new beginning is emerging. Change is a beautiful and daunting ocean to dive into. Sometimes I feel totally out of control and sometimes that’s scary as hell. I hope I don’t look like someone who has it all together because I don’t. I’m just as human as anyone else, literally making this life up as I go. I’ll be the first to admit that it can be hard to surrender to what we can’t control. It’s something I practice every day and I learn new things every day. I’m beginning to understand that to a certain extent, I have to accept the unknown. When it comes to this path, I have to accept what I cannot control. Because sitting right next to the curious and adventurous heart of mine is a mind that wants to worry. The unknown can be terrifying!!! The mind can be brutal. It will play tricks saying that the unknown means I’m headed no where, that my dreams are unrealistic and unachievable, that I’m not doing enough, and because I’m not doing enough that means I’m not worthy of my dreams. But in my gut, in my heart, in the depths of who I am... I feel trust. I trust that life will take me where I need to go. I intuitively know that I have to surrender control. I’ll plan for something and then life will throw a curveball connected with a “HA - think fast!” and then I’ll be walking through some other door I didn’t even know existed to be open for me. And on the other side of that door is gonna lay even more life to be discovered, even more life to fall in love with. (exhibit A: this entire last year / my experience living in Galapagos as a whole) As I revel in this space of unknown, as I learn to be present and learn the art of non-attachment, I’ve realized that this is what I want, this is what I love... this life. I love the unknown. I love the freedom. I love the uneasiness and the wonder. I love the adventurous and curious energy that life continues to show me. I love not knowing what will happen next because it means that quite literally a n y t h i n g is possible. It means I can say yes to anything that feels right for my being. Ever since I can remember I’ve dreamed of a life like this, a life of unknown wonders and endless adventures. And I’m finally recognizing that this is actually the life I’m living. I get to fall in love with life all over and over again every time a door opens or closes. When I remember how much the universe supports every move I make, love and energy freely flow between us. It gives me goosebumps just thinking about it because this is what I choose! This life! I choose to live here and now. I choose the unknown because I choose trust. I choose a life of freedom. I’m fully convinced I wasn’t brought onto this planet to live in any other way but this. And this way of life, it’s not for everyone. And that’s okay. Because there’s different kinds of adventures and different kinds of curiosity and different kinds of paths. But the more I live this life, the more I see other people doing the same. The more teachers and lessons get dropped on my path to help me grow and to show me, hey... actually, you’re not crazy. People can and do live this life you’re creating. It’s possible. I love seeing people choose the life they desire, coming to the realization that WE ARE THE CREATORS. We get to CHOOSE. We can choose unknown adventures or we can choose to live inside our comfort zones. We can choose any life we want. It’s an incredibly courageous choice to make, the most rewarding rebellion any soul can do. Does this resonate with you? Do you feel a stir in your heart that this is the kind of life you want to live? Are you seeing more and more people around you making choices to live a life that is aligned with their values and desires? Are you (like me) still navigating the space between effort and trust? Does your heart stop because you feel that this is what you want, but it’s not what you’re living? Are you pulled to the adventure and curiosity of life - but the worry and anxiety stop you from making moves? You’re not alone, trust me. If you want to know what steps I’m taking to make sure I can continue to live my life like this, if you need a little inspiration, if you’re open to new opportunities and you’re open to all the scary and beautiful parts of change, please send me a message. I might just have an opportunity for you. Wishing nothing but fulfilling days, weeks, and months ahead of you. May you be as inspired as I am from the abundance that surrounds us. May you find beauty, peace, growth, and love in the life that you live. After all, that’s what life is all about, right? **DISCLAIMER** This idea of choosing what life you want to live- let me be clear that it is much easier those of us who, like me, are extremely privileged. If you don’t know where your next meal is coming from, if you don’t have access to clean drinking water, or if you are unaware and/or unable to break free of the oppressive systems that want to keep you in your place, you can’t so easily choose the life you want. I still believe its possible for everyone, and that's the vision of the future I want to create, but some people have many more obstacles than others. For us privileged people, it’s up to us to acknowledge how we benefit from these systems. Then it is our responsibility to work together to educate ourselves in order to bring these systems to consciousness and begin to break them down so that all people can begin to choose what life they want to live.
My last blog post written on Love, Lina & Lara dates November 8, 2019. Birthday refelctions...
Twenty-Three Evolutions Around The Sun
I can sum up my year of being twenty-two like this: one big jump out of my comfort zone. All the things I did this year - move to a new country, move in with my boyfriend, start a teaching job with absolutely no experience, start my own business (again, no experience), dive master training, surfing, opening myself up to new people, learning to speak Spanish, teaching a yoga class, etc., etc. - all that pushed me out of my comfort zone has allowed for me to grow more this year than I ever thought possible. I evolved in so many ways this year. I’ve struggled & thrived, second-guessed & fully trusted, felt lost & felt found, been shown both my shadow self and my light being myself. I’ve been emotional and feeling everything SO deeply. I’m feeling past lessons resurfacing, like all the revelations I’ve had this year are coming back to show me that it’s time for me to truly integrate them into this new evolved being. I’m feeling like parts of me are dying, yet I feel SO ALIVE.
I was born in the sign of transformation for a reason, I’m meant to navigate these depths so that I can RISE. It’s time for me to lean into my magic, take it in fully and unapologetically. It’s time for me to truly accept what I deserve and attract all I desire and more.
Scorpio, my sign, is all about transformation, facing shadows, venturing into fears and anxieties, listening to intuition, honoring the cycles of death and rebirth, releasing control, and reflecting on this beautiful journey. All of this resonates so deeply, I feel that this is exactly what I’m doing. I’m right where I need to be at twenty-three. I feel like I’ve learned so much in my short time on Earth, yet also like I know nothing and there is quite literally infinitely more to learn - and this excites me!!!!
I know this next year is going to blow me away, just like every year has before. Twenty-three is going to be all about confidence. I will jump into every new venture with absolute confidence that it’s what I need to be doing. And I will receive my lessons with confidence that each one is what I need at that moment in time. Twenty-three is going to be intentional. Taking intentional time and space for myself, learning more intentionally, meeting and spending time with people intentionally. It’s going to be about taking my power into my own hands and waiting for no one to validate me. It’s going to be about blazing my own path, lighting my soul, destiny, desires, manifestations on fire. At this point, I understand what I love (and what I love can always shift and change) and I’m going to stop at nothing to get/do/be/experience what I love. After all, this life is no one else’s but mine, so I might as well make it undoubtedly, unapologetically mine.
I’m so damn grateful for the people, the experiences, the lessons, the love, and the growth that twenty-two brought me. All of it is propelling me forward into exactly who I am meant to be for twenty-three, and by God I am ecstatic to see where I go from here.
There are no limits. There is no ceiling. I am supported. I am loved. I am free. I am alive. I am here and I am now.
And that’s all I ever want to be.
There ya have it, folx! The #archives from the year 2019. As you can see, it was quite the year and I learned a lot to say the least. Hopefully this post gives you some insight as to what I've worked through to get to this point and a little back ground to my recent life story. There's plenty more where that came from.
Onward & upward, my dears!